I found this extremely helpful "What His Favorite Superhero Reveals About Him" article (thanks Cosmo!) and in the spirit of equality and fairness, thought I’d compile a guide for men so they know what a woman’s favorite superheroine says about them. I think this would be an excellent addition to a men’s advice magazine like GQ or Esquire, so please consider this my formal pitch.
Wonder Woman: Wonder Woman is the quintessential “misandrist”. While she spreads love and peace, don’t be fooled: the woman who loves Wonder Woman doesn’t feel she needs a man to be a fully actualized human. Like Wonder Woman, she will take strength in the company of other women and will not be impressed by shows of your masculine prowess. Avoid at all costs, unless for some reason you want a powerful woman who will not depend on you for her validation.
Black Widow: Much like the Black Widow, the woman who loves her is not to be trusted. If Black Widow is a woman’s favorite superhero, it means she watched Avengers and didn’t pick Iron Man. I mean, what the heck. There are only two reasons a woman would love Black Widow: 1) she’s a feminist and thus undatable, 2) she is shady and untrustworthy, prioritizing her own agency and survival above your needs. Avoid at all costs, unless for some reason you want a clever, resourceful woman who won’t hand you her heart until you’ve proven you’re worth it.
Captain Marvel: Who? This character isn’t in any movies. Avoid a woman who likes Captain Marvel, whoever she is, as she’s probably a nerd with her own opinions about comics, and won’t listen reverently as you explain to her your limited knowledge and deep thoughts on superheroes. Unless you’re into a woman who has her own opinions and feels comfortable expressing them, I guess.
Batwoman: Are you making this shit up now? Hrm. Well, okay. I guess Batwoman is…probably a woman who wants to be like Batman, but knows she can’t and thus sticks to aiding him, often sexually. That’s admirable. A woman who loves Batwoman is possibly your safest bet to date. EDITOR UPDATE: Upon googling this, I have discovered that Batwoman is a militant lesbian who turns down Batman’s assistance. ABORT. AVOID.
Conclusion: Never date a woman who loves superheroines.