It’s time for Takarazuka.
What is Takarazuka?
- the greatest mistake the capitalist patriarchy has ever made, and the greatest gift it’s ever given us.
- gay, so awesomely gay, but I can’t really explain how???
- good, clean, family fun! no knowledge of Japanese is even required to enjoy the awesomeness of these plays.
Instructions for creating Takarazuka:
1. Gather all of the gayest men you’ve ever met.
2. Compel them to design, direct, write the gayest musical ever to be staged.
3. For the plot, borrow a storyline from another medium, preferably something incredibly long. Condense it into an hour and a half at most.
4. When the plot doesn’t make sense, add a musical number.
5. Train a bunch of hot Japanese women at the strictest drama school in the world. Have them play all of the roles. Instruct half of them to play men on stage and act as men in real life.
7. Your train company profits! People blame you for encouraging immorality and hot lesbian antics while you insist you’re training the girls to be good wives, wise mothers.
8. All of the fans end up being women; they become fanatically obsessed with the male-role players. Repressed Japanese lesbianism: 1, Patriarchy: 0. or like, .5 or something, I don’t know.
In this video, we have a woman playing a man and a woman playing a woman who crossdresses as a man (SO SHE CAN BE MARIE ANTOINETTE’S BODY GUARD. THEY’RE IN VERSAILLES, WTF. But, no, seriously Rose of Versailles is awesome.) So they’re a female-female couple playing a male-female couple that within the narrative could be perceived as a male-male couple. CONFUSED? NOT MAKING SENSE? TIME FOR A MUSICAL NUMBER.