MY NEW CRACKPOT THEORY: Canton Everett Delaware III’s son is Agent Phil Coulson of SHIELD. Canton’s the bio-dad; his partner’s name is Coulson. So Phil ended up with one dad’s hairline (and dress sense…) and the other dad’s surname. The reason why Agent Phil Coulson is so good at dealing with weird shit is that he fucking grew up with it. Because don’t tell me that Canton wasn’t recruited by SHIELD as soon as he got fired from the FBI. He helped a bunch of time-travelers deal with an alien invasion, stood up to the President of the United States, and did it all without batting an eyelid. CLEARLY PHIL COULSON’S PERPETUAL, FAINTLY-SMILING CALM IS A GENETIC TRAIT.